A new epidemic has broken out in Washington D.C. – a bug called oviraptorus omicron variant, or O.O.O.M.A, which threatens travelers, livestock, swimming pools, kids and anyone who thinks it’s fun to fart.
The bug lives in the back of your nose and your throat – or anywhere acidic, like that back corner of the gym or the food prep counter in a restaurant – and it causes indigestion or a higher pulse rate in people who have swallowed a large amount of sulphuric acid, usually the lime peel off a lemon or lime wedges in a glass of wine.
O.O.O.M.A has a lot of contact contact with an insect or even some bacteria inside your body, then it escapes through your nose and throat. It will be killed either by nectar, sweat or saliva.
O.O.O.M.A will only be lethal if eaten with other acid species. A soda pop will only seriously harm you if you eat it with a bitter vegetable such as watercress.
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Many people with the disease have already been institutionalized, and a number of those people’s feet have already been amputated after their throats became swollen, prompting doctors to call for the “best foot forward policy.”
This virus could be a serious problem for people who only take water from an faucet that isn’t recirculated through the pipes in their houses or restaurants, unless they are lucky enough to live near cities and have their filters getting filtered. All that faucet aeration kills the O.O.O.M.A, but if a person has to make it from point A to point B on their bicycle, they will be in trouble.
Here’s an alternative route: Utilize X-Ray Vision and tell people that they have O.O.O.M.A – which then gives the red-faced Zodiac sign (Inquisitr, June 3, 2018, +13:56pm EDT)
It’s also caused some other injuries, such as chafing from always wearing a bathing suit as a person typically has the bug on their chest during a long weekend, because the bug exits through the chest and liver, according to researchers.
Sounds bad. Where can we get it? “Have you had it in Utah or California? It might also be in Utah or California,” said Dr. Joseph Wilson, an infectious disease specialist at Emory University in Atlanta. “You never know.”
This bug has not been reported in other parts of the country because humans won’t get it here, explained Dr. Paula Noonan, medical director for the University of Illinois at Chicago’s Alcohol Abstinence and Drug Abuse (AIDA) Program.
O.O.O.M.A is not a chicken pox or herpes virus like cowpox. It is not an antibiotic resistant strain of TB that sometimes circulates in some parts of the country.
Yes, a foreign germ can infiltrate a food supply, but O.O.O.M.A is not airborne. There is no way you can get this from drinking coffee. “All sorts of questions that you have to answer,” Noonan added. “What do you do in order to feel better? Where can you go to get advice?”
By the way, this is not a type of poop.
Dr. Michael Dickinson is the Health and Wellness Editor for the Scripps National Desk. Follow him on Twitter @radik66.